MARRIAGE AFTER THE FALL IS OPTIONAL
Although
God made marriage optional after the Fall, He did not contradict
Himself, nor succomb to man's flawed concept of situation ethics, as
some contend. First and foremost the universe is God's creation to do
with what He chooses without being held accountable to some kind of
idea of
how the world should be run by man - any human - whom God created and
who rebelled
against God through Adam causing havoc with God's creation and becoming
a sinful,
flawed race of people. Secondly, it was Adam & Eve who
violated God's command and caused the situation to drastically change.
Now, after the Fall, God was dealing with an evil race of people
stemming from Adam & Eve, who needed new rules so that they would
not self-destruct. Hence God's response was to graciously make changes
in order to
preserve the human race from total destruction by providing for a
restoration of humanity, paying the price for that restoration Himself
through His Son Who took upon Himself perfect Humanity and paid that
price for the sins of all mankind. So instead of condemning God for
changing His rules,
one should commend Him for rescuing humanity and restoring mankind once
more to blessing.
EXCERPT FROM "MARRIAGE AFTER THE FALL"
BY WORLD-MAP.COM
"Both the Old and New Testaments reveal the damage caused by Adam’s willful choice to rebel against God’s [command]
(Gen 2:15-17; Genesis 3). The fall from innocence of Adam and Eve, and
the entry of sin into God’s creation, has had a disastrous effect upon:
• The created universe (Rom 8:20-22)
• All plant life (Gen 3:17-19)
• All animal life (Isa 65:25)
[• Descendants of Adam continually doing great evil hence the worldwide flood (Gen 6-8)
[• Noah commanded by God to be fruitful & multiply in order to multiply mankind (Gen 9)
[• Mankind's continual evil - God confused languages to prevent man's destruction (Gen 11:1-9)
[• Patriarchs Abraham, Isaac & Jacob: restore mankind thru Descendant Christ (Gen 12-18)
[• Israel, God's chosen people: restore mankind thru example & Descendant Christ
[• Church to restore mankind via message of gospel thru faith alone in Christ alone
A. DISTORTION OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
At
the Fall, Adam and Eve lost their sinless harmony of relationship with
God (Gen 3:8-10). Adam and Eve’s relationship with each other also
began to deteriorate as Adam blamed and accused his wife for his own
choice to disobey (Gen 3:12). They entered into a life of separation
from, and struggle with, the rest of God’s creation (Gen 3:17- 19, 23,
24).
Because of this distorting effect of sin on all human
relationships, God had to take drastic measures to reorder the lives of
now-fallen human beings (Gen 3:16-19).
To the woman God says that
her pains in pregnancy would be greatly increased (v.16a). Remember
that the woman was created to be man’s helpmate and the joyful mother
of children (Gen 1:27,28; 2:18,23,24). But after the Fall, having a
large family with many children was going to become more difficult.
[So
why shouldn't / wouldn't God change the rules / commands to suit this
new condition that was caused by the man Adam? After all, it is God's
creation, not man's. Therefore God is justified in modifying His
command to suit the change of the situation, i.e., utilizing "situation
ethics," albeit that phrase does not apply to God because He is not
accountable to man for His ethics no matter what He decides to do. For
humankind has willfully disobeyed God and caused its kind
to change into a self-destructive race that would negatively
effect life and everything on the planet, cf. the worldwide Flood in
Genesis chapter 6!! It is going to be more difficult NOW for humanity
in its flawed condition to be fruitful and multiply with out causing
difficulty and destruction as proved out in Genesis chapter 6 - the
worldwide flood. Recall that in Genesis 6, God caused a worldwide flood
to destroy all but eight of humanity because of the great evil that
they demonstrated. So much for criticizing God for modifying His
command to be fruitful and multiply]
Next God says to the woman,
“Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you”
(v.16b). Though there is some difficulty in correctly translating the
original Hebrew in this verse, the best interpretation is as follows:
“Desire” in Genesis 3:16 is not sexual desire; rather, it reflects the
presence of sin distorting what God had created woman to be.
As
discussed previously, God had made woman as a “helper” to man (2:18),
to rule with him in daily life (1:27,28). Sin, however, allowed the
entrance of wrong desires. A woman’s fleshly desire would now be to
seek independence from the man – even to possibly desire to rule over
him.
In order to better understand this, let us examine the same
Hebrew word for “desire” as it is used in Genesis 4:7. In this
instance, God is explaining to Cain the power of sin and that sin’s
“desire is for you”. God then tells Cain, “but you should rule over it”
(4:7). Sin would desire to rule and control Cain, but God tells Cain to
instead rule over sin (which, sadly, he does not do).
In Genesis
3:16, God tells Eve that Adam will “rule over” her. God is not,
however, commanding Adam to dominate Eve; rather, He is describing a
change produced by the distorting power of sin in human hearts and
human society. God’s original created order had now been drastically
changed. Because of sin, woman would now desire to rule in the place of
authority. Man would have to strive to resist this attempt, and was to
“rule over” the woman.
The full effects of sin’s distortion are
clearly seen in Scripture and in the world around us even to this day.
The Bible account of Jezebel shows the extreme results of a woman
giving in to the desire to dominate (1 Ki 16, 18, 19, 21; 2 Ki 9).
There was much heartache and destruction caused by sin that was out of
control in Jezebel’s life. To this day, there are women who desire to
dominate and control their husbands, their relationships and their
circumstances. Their families and many others suffer from this
destructive behavior.
In this same Biblical account, the story
of Jezebel’s husband Ahab shows the results of a man giving up his
God-given responsibilities (1 Ki 21:1-16, 23-26). The abandoning of his
role also had tragic consequences. Even to this day, men who give in to
human and fleshly tendencies react to responsibility by “letting
someone else take it.” A man may not lead his family properly, or
may not work to provide for his spouse and children. He may want to
blame his wife or his circumstances for his own failures. He may even
try to cruelly dominate and control his wife. In some cultures, women
are treated as animals or as possessions to be traded or sold. This is
the tragic result of sin having its way in a person’s life.
All
of this is quite different from God’s original intent at Creation. Man
and woman were made to complement one another and co-rule together.
Adam had been given a certain amount of authority over Eve as he was
created first and named her twice (Gen 2:21-23; 3:20). However, it was
not an authority to dominate her, but rather to be a servant/leader to
her. God gave Adam the responsibility to love and cherish Eve, to
protect her, to provide for her, and to lead her and their family. And
God gave Eve the responsibility of supporting and helping Adam in all
of his God-given responsibilities.
The relationship God
originally intended for man and woman was not threatening or difficult
for them. They both understood that God designed the marriage
relationship for their mutual blessing. Before the Fall, Adam and Eve
walked in the beauty and simplicity of a God-ordered marriage. Man
lovingly cared for his wife, and she graciously received his care and
gave her support back to him ruled together, loving and supporting one
another. However, the entrance of sin allowed for the entrance of
distorted desires. Man and woman would now have to struggle with the
consequences of sin, which included competition, striving, selfishness,
dominance and rebellion (among other things). Their natural, human
tendencies would now be different than what God had originally intended
for them. Woman would desire to dominate or control; man would desire
to abandon his place of leadership – or would strive in his own
strength to regain his place of leadership by dominating his wife or
behaving cruelly toward her.
Things would now be much more
difficult for men and women. Even after the entrance of sin, God
reminded Adam that he still had the responsibility to provide for his
family, but that it would be through hard labor (Gen 3:17-19; 1 Tim
5:8). Man’s shortened life would be marked by labor and toil, woman’s
by pain in childbirth; and they would both suffer the painful
distortions caused by the entrance of sin into the husband/wife
relationship.
B) CHRIST’S REDEMPTIVE WORK
The
tragic effects of sin on the marriage relationship are still very
evident today. One might be tempted to feel discouraged and hopeless
about the possibilities in marriage.
But we have the “good news” of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to encourage us!
[On
the other hand, all individuals today as well as in the past, after the
Fall are not required by command to be married and multiply as we will
see in Scripture]
Christ’s
death broke the power of sin and the curse upon mankind (Rom 5:12-21).
Christ came, died as a sacrifice [for the sins of all mankind who will
ever be conceived], and rose again to restore people to a personal
relationship with God (Col 1:19-23) [through a moment of faith alone in
Christ alone 
].
Full relationship with God had not been possible since sin’s entrance
into the human race at the Fall. All of mankind lay under the curse of
sin (which is death and separation from God) until Christ came to set
the captives free (John 8:34-36; Heb 2:10-18).
Before receiving
Christ, we are spiritually “dead” in our trespasses and sins (Eph
2:1-3). But when we receive Jesus Christ [by a moment of faith alone in
Christ alone
as our Lord and Savior, our spirit becomes alive (Eph 2:4-10). The
spiritual blinders that covered our eyes and kept us from seeing God
and His ways are now removed. We can live very differently than we did
before receiving Christ.
[Albeit faithful
living is
imperfect at best and our eternal destiny in a perfect resurrection body
once the duration of our temporal bodies is complete then we will be
sinless once our temporal bodies are replaced by that resurrection
body. No one can claim to have not sinned 1 Jn 1:8 so our Christian
lifestyles in the temporal life will be imperfect, nevertheless our
grace salvation will afford us eternal life destiny and depending upon
our faithfulness, albeit imperfect, God will reward us by His with
eternal rewards in heaven]
Christ’s
redeeming work made it possible for our minds and hearts to be
transformed and renewed (Rom 12:1, 2; Eph 4:22-24). We can [repent from
not believing to believing in Christ unto eternal life for forgiveness
of our sins], be forgiven, and [have an opportunity to] be restored in
this temporal life but not fully until resurrection]... (2 Cor 3:18).
The
Scriptures tell us that we, as Christians, now have the mind of Christ
(1 Cor 2:16). His will and His ways can now enter our thoughts, and we
can understand what God wants us to do. We are a “new creation” and the
“former things are passed away” (2 Cor 5:17) [in the sense that all
believers are new creations because we all are now "in Christ" as part of
the body of Christ and as opposed to being Jew or Gentile. Thus no
believer will attain sinless perfection in this mortal life,
onlybut after
resurrection]. What we once were before Christ - and how we once
thought – can now be completely different. [No, not until resurrection.
We all struggle with the indwelling sin nature as Paul did, Ro 7:1ff]
[But again, our temporal lives will not approach blamelessness or sinlessness until our resurrection]
As
Christians, we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us. We now have
His power to help us deny our sinful and selfish desires; we are no
longer slaves to sin, but free to live according to God’s original
design.
[But
again, our temporal lives will continually be a struggle between the
flesh and the inner man. We will not approach blamelessness or
sinlessness until our resurrection]
We
can choose not to take offense, but be understanding and quick to
forgive. What a difference Jesus Christ and His Spirit can make in our
marriage!
As a man and woman submit themselves to God’s
transforming and renewing work by the power of the Holy Spirit, they
are changed from the inside out.
[No they are not! There will always be the struggle between the flesh and the inner man, Ro 7:1ff)! Wait until
resurrection. Even at our best we produce imperfect faithful deeds in
our Christian lives. Nevertheless God in His grace perfects our
imperfect deeds unto rewards in heaven]
As they are returned
more and more into the image of God, their marriage will also become
more of what God intended marriage to be at Creation.
[Even
at our best we produce imperfect faithful deeds in our Christian lives.
Nevertheless God in His grace perfects our imperfect deeds unto rewards
in heaven]
Jesus came to restore what had been lost through sin. Jesus’ work was one of restoration and redemption.
[To be finalized beginning at His Second Coming]
We
have a great hope that no matter what has happened in our past, it can
be healed, redeemed and restored. We can be free of the bondage that
results from sinful and destructive behavior.
[We
can look forward to minimizing the damage as we study, follow the
Spirit's leading and confess our sins among other things, but this will
not release from our bondage to the sin nature until resurrection and
the reception of our blameless resurrection body]
Many New
Testament
scriptures encourage redeemed believers in Jesus Christ about what is
now possible in relationships with others [albeit the possibility of
being without sin and living in moments of perfect godliness is after
resurrection], and especially in marriage.
We can love each other as Christ loves us (1 Cor 13; 1 John 4:7-11). We
can be patient, kind and gentle (Gal 5:22, 23). It may take time and
hard work to deny our fleshly desires and become more Christ like; but
it is well worth the effort, since we can then enjoy good and godly
relationships with our spouse and others.
[We
are commanded to
seek godliness in this life, but there is no indication that we
will achieve sinless perfection in our mortal bodies, (cf. 1 Jn
1:1-10)]
C) CHURCH AGE BELIEVERS HAVE AN OPTION TO BE MARRIED OR NOT
Furthermore in passages such as 1 Cor 7:25-40 in the 'New Testament' it is clear that
individuals have some options depending upon circumstances to choose
to be married or not:
1) [Compare 1 Cor 7:25-40 ]:
(1
Cor 7:25 NASB) "Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord,
but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is
trustworthy.
(1 Cor 7:26 NASB) I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
(1 Cor 7:27 NASB) Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
(1 Cor 7:28 NASB) But
if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not
sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to
spare you.
(1 Cor 7:29 NASB) But
this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on
those who have wives should be as though they had none;
(1 Cor 7:30 NASB) and
those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as
though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not
possess;
(1 Cor 7:31 NASB) and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.
(1 Cor 7:32 NASB) But
I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned
about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;
(1 Cor 7:33 NASB) but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,
(1 Cor 7:34 NASB) and
his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin,
is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in
body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things
of the world, how she may please her husband.
(1 Cor 7:35 NASB) This
I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to
promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the
Lord.
(1 Cor 7:36 NASB) But
if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin
daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do
what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry.
(1 Cor 7:37 NASB) But
he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has
authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to
keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well.
(1 Cor 7:38 NASB) So
then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well,
and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.
(1 Cor 7:39 NASB) A
wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead,
she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
(1 Cor 7:40 NASB) But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God."
