LOVE: A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE
[The New Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon of the NT, Joseph Henry Thayer, Hendrickson, Peabosy, Ma, 1981, p. 3]:
"agapaO ..... to love, to be full of good-will and exhibit the same... to have a preference for, wish well to, regard the welfare of ... often of the love of Christians towards one another; of the benevolence which God in providing salvation for men, has exhibited by sending His Son to them and giving Him up to death... of the love which led Christ, in procuring human salvation to undergo sufferings and death... of the love with which God regards Christ..."
[Vine's Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, W. E. Vine, Fleming H. Revell, Old Tappan, N. J., p. 20]:
"Agape and agapaO are used in the N.T.
(a) to describe the attitude of God toward His Son, John 17:26; the human race, generally, John 3:16; Rom 5:8; and to such as believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, particularly, John 14:21;
(b) to convey His will to His children concerning their attitude one toward another, John 13:34, and toward all me, 1 Thess 3:12; 1 Cor 16:14; 2 Pet 1:7
(c) to express the essential nature of God, 1 John 4:8.
Love can be known only from the actions it prompts. God's love is seen in the gift of His Son, 1 John 4:9, 10. But obviously this is not the love of complacency, or affection, that is, it was not drawn out by any excellency in its objects, Rom 5:8. It was an exercise of the Divine will in deliberate choice, made without assignable cause save that which lies in the nature of God Himself, cp. Deut 7:7, 8.
Love had its perfect expression among men in the Lord Jesus Christ, 2 Cor 5:14; Eph 2:4; 3:19; 5:2; Christian love is the fruit of His Spirit in the Christian, Gal 5:22.
Christian love has God for its primary object, and expresses itself first of all in implicit obedience to His commandments, John 14:15, 21, 23; 15:10; 1 John 2:5; 5:3; 2 John 6. Self-will, that is, self-pleasing, is the negation of love to God.
Christian love, whether exercised toward the brethren, or toward men generally, is not an impluse from the feelings, it does not always run with the natural inclinations, nor does it spend itself only upon those for whom some affinity is discovered. Love seeks the welfare of all, Rom 15:2, and works no ill to any, 13:8-10; love seeks opportunity to do good to all men, and especially toward them that are of the household of the faith, Gal 6:10.
In respect of agapaO as used of God, it expresses the deep and constant love and interest of a perfect Being towards entirely unworthy objects, producing and fostering a reverential love in them towards the Giver, and a practical love towards those who are partakers of the same, and a desire to help others to seek the Giver.
[Kenneth Wuest states, (Wuest's Word Studies, From the Greek New Testament, Vol 3, Eerdmans Publishing Co, Grand Rapids, Mi, 1992, #28, p. 62]:
" 'Phileo' is a love which consists of the glow of the heart kindled by the perception of that in the object which affords us pleasure. It is the response of the human [soul] to what appeals to it as pleasurable... The word was used to speak of a friendly affection. It is a love called out of one in response to a feeling of pleasure or delight which one experiences from an apprehension of qualities in another that furnish such pleasure or delight. 'Agapao' on the other hand, speaks of a love which is awakened by a sense of value in the object loved, an apprehension of its preciousness. [Cp. Rev 22:15; Mt 6:5; 10:37; 23:6; Lk 20:46; Jn 11:3, 36; 16:27; 1 Cor 16:22]
1) AGAPE-SACRIFICIAL-SERVING-OF-OTHERS-LOVE VS PHILEO-AFFECTIONATE-LOVE
a) [Jn 21:15-17]:
(v. 15) "When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love ["agapas"] Me more than these [disciples]? 'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'you know that I love ["philO] you.' Jesus said, 'Feed My lambs.'
(v. 16) Again Jesus said, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love ["agapas"] me?' He answered, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I ["philO"] you.' Jesus said, 'Take care of My sheep.'
(v. 17) The third time He said to him, 'Simon son of John, do you love ["phileis"] Me?' Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time 'Do you love ["phileis"] Me?' He said, 'Lord, you know all things; you know that I love ["philO] you.' Jesus said, 'Feed My sheep.' "
Notice that Peter uses the verb form "philO" that is rendered 'love' in answer to the Lord Jesus Christ Who uses another verb, "agapas" for the first two times He asked Peter His question, 'Do you love Me?' There is an obvious emphasis on the issue of whether or not Peter loves the Lord with "agapas" love with His two repetitions of this word, especially after Peter answered in the affirmative albeit with "philO": "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love [philO] you." The difference between the two verbs can hardly be a simple choice of possible synonymous words for literary style purposes, especially with our Lord's repetition and Peter's use of another word for love, "philO". The intent of writer John which is readily observable is to report the words of our Lord and Peter and not do any editorializing for the sake of style or change of meaning.
In the light of Peter's earlier three time denial of our Lord where he said he did not even know Him, (18:17, 25, 27); our Lord's three fold question paralleling Peter's threefold denial gave Peter an opportunity to restore his committment of agape and phileo love and of being a faithful disciple. Notice that Peter was hurt when our Lord asked him the question for the third time, (v. 17), which points to a difference in meaning between the two words, agapas & philO
Peter's use of "philO" love instead of "agapas" love is striking and points to a difference of meaning. It is normative to respond to a question using the same verb if the same meaning is intended.
And the converse is also true: It is basic to normative rules of language, context and logic that a response to a yes or no question that
(1) goes beyond yes or no
(2) changes the wording of the question (from agape to phileO forms)
(3) leaves parts of the question out/unanswered ('more than these' ignored)
usually infers an evasion of the question, i.e., a change of meaning.
Just as a husband's response to his wife's question, 'Do you love me more than your job?'
[Husband]:
'You know that I have great affection for you' points to an evasion on all 3 counts;
so Peter's response to our Lord's questions indicates an evasion of the intent of the question with a response that has changed the parameters of the question from
(1) a single absolute yes or no
(2) agape to phileO love
(3) love Me 'more than these' to not addressing 'more than these' at all.
Notice that our Lord's third question of 'Do you love me?' uses the verb "phileis". This parallels Peter's use of "phileo" love twice before in response to our Lord instead of "agapas". If the integrity of author John's account of this conversation is to have any validty, surely the verbs used here are an accurate rendering of that conversation which infers a difference of meaning.
So the point our Lord is making is that the value of an emotional, affectionate 'philos' love is based on how connected it is to true godly 'agape', sacrificial, love, which in the case of Peter, relates to Peter's feeding, i.e., teaching and taking care of our Lord's sheep, i.e., believers; especially since they belong to the Lord Jesus Christ. One can have 'philOs', affectionate love for someone but not have agape sacrificial, responsible, active, helpful, kind and truthful 'agape', godly love. It, [the 'philOs' love), then would have very limited worth or value, being unconnected to godly love.
Some contrasts between agape and philia are as follows:
Philia | Agape |
Natural | Learned |
Emotional | Volitional |
Discriminatory | Non-discriminatory |
Conditional | Unconditional |
Pleasure | Preciousness |
Delight | Esteem |
Liking | Prizing |
Because of | In spite of |
Fails | Never fails |
[Robertson's Word Pictures of the New Testament
http://bible.crosswalk.com/Commentaries/RobertsonsWordPictures/rwp.cgi?book=joh&chapter=021&verse=015&next=016&prev=014]
"Lovest thou me more than these? (agapas me pleion toutOn). Ablative case of comparison toutOn (disciples) after pleion. Peter had even boasted that he would stand by Christ though all men forsook him (Mark 14:29). We do not know what passed between Jesus and Peter when Jesus first appeared to him (Luke 24:34). But here Christ probes the inmost recesses of Peter's heart to secure the humility necessary for service. I love thee (philO se). Peter makes no claim here to superior love and passes by the "more than these" and does not even use Christ's word agapaO for high and devoted love, but the humbler word phileO for love as a friend. He insists that Christ knows this in spite of his conduct."
[Vine's Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, W. E. Vine, Fleming H. Revell, Old Tappan, N. J., p. 20]:
"The distinction between the two verbs finds a conspicuous instance in the narrative of John 21:15-17. The context itself indicates that agapaO in the first two questions suggests the love that values and esteems (cp. Rev 12:11). It is an unself love, ready to serve. The use of phileO in Peter's answers and the Lord's third question, conveys the thought of cherishing the Object above all else, of manifesting an affection characterised by constancy, from the motive of the highest veneration."
b) [Rom 12:9-10]:
(v. 9) "Let love [agape] be without hypocrisy. Abhorring the evil, clinging to the good.
(v. 10) With brotherly love [philadelphia] for one another warmly affectionate, in honor preferring one another, not lagging in diligence, glowing [boiling] in spirit serving the Lord."
Notice that agape love results from a deliberate effort to love without hypocrisy, abhor evil and cling to the good. On the other hand the phileO brotherly love involves warmth & affection resulting in honoring one another, not lagging in diligence, glowing in spirit serving the Lord. So there is apparently a distinction made here between agape and phileO love.
2) AGAPE LOVE IS A SACRIFICIAL LOVE THAT IS COMMITTED TO SERVE OTHERS
a) [1 Jn 3:16]:
"This is how we know what love [agapEn] is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."
3) AGAPE LOVE DESCRIBES THE ATTITUDE OF GOD TOWARD HIS SON WHICH IS PURPOSED TO PROVIDE IN MEN THIS SAME KIND OF PURPOSE DRIVEN LOVE AND THAT THE LORD HIMSELF MAY BE IN THEM
a) [Jn 17:25-26]:
(v. 25) "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me.
(v. 26) I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love [agapE] you loved [EgapEsas] Me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
3) AGAPE LOVE DESCRIBES THE SELF-SACRIFICING ATTITUDE OF GOD TOWARD MANKIND WHICH IS PURPOSED TO PROVIDE ETERNAL LIFE FOR THEM
a) [Jn 3:16]:
"For God so loved [EgapEsen] the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
b) [Ro 5:8]:
"But God demonstrates his own love [agapEn] for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
4) AGAPE LOVE DESCRIBES THE ATTITUDE OF GOD TOWARD THOSE WHO BELIEVE ON THE LORD JESUS CHRIST WHICH IS PURPOSED TO BLESS THEM WITH GOD'S AGAPE LOVE AND RESULT IN SHOWING HIMSELF TO THEM
a) [Jn 14:21]:
"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves [agapOn] Me. He who loves [agapOn] Me will be loved [agapEthEsetai] by My Father, and I too will love him and show Myself to him."
b) [Jn 17:25-26]:
(v. 25) "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me.
(v. 26) I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love [agapE] you loved [EgapEsas] Me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.
5) AGAPE LOVE IS DEMONSTRATED BY AN INDIVIDUAL WHEN ONE OBEYS GOD
a) [Jn 14:15, 21]:
(v. 15) "If you love [agapate] Me, you will obey what I command.
(v. 21) Whoever has My commandments and obeys them, he is the one who loves [agapOn] Me. He who loves [agapOn] Me will be loved [agapEthEsetai] by My Father, and I too will love [agapEsO] him and show Myself to him."
b) [2 Jn 6]:
"And this is love [agape]: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love [agape]."
Notice that agape love results from a committment to obey God's commandments.
6) AGAPE LOVE DESCRIBES AN ESSENCE AND ESSENTIAL NATURE OF GOD
a) [1 Jn 4:8]:
"Whoever does not love [agapOn] does not know God, because God is love [agapE]."
7) THE AGAPE LOVE OF THE WORLD IS MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE FROM THE AGAPE LOVE OF GOD
a) [1 Jn 2:15-17]:
(v. 15) Do not love [agapate] the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves [agapa] the world, the love [agapE] of the Father is not in him."
[Notice that the verb forms of agape remain consistent. Certainly one can phileo love the world; but to agape/revere the world is mutually exclusive of an agape/revere love of the Father]
b) [Jn 5:41-42]:
(v. 41) "I do not accept praise from men,
(42) but I know you. I know that you do not have the love [agapEn] of God in your hearts.
8) AGAPE LOVE IS EXPRESSED BY APPLYING PRINCIPLES FROM THE WORD OF GOD
a) [Phil 1:9 NAS]:
"And this I pray, that your love [= "agape"] may abound still more and more in ["epignosis"] knowledge [of God's Word] and all discernment"
"That your love [agape] may abound" =
[Homer A. Kent Jr. states in THE EXPOSITOR'S BIBLE COMENTARY, Vol 11, Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Mich, 1978, p. 103-105]:
The basic petition of Paul's prayer is that his readers' love might abound more and more. Love is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22) that enables all other spiritual virtues to be exercised properly (1 Cor 13:1-3). Without it no Christian is spiritually complete (Col 3:14).
Love must be intelligent and morally discerning, if it is to be truly "agape". What is encouraged here is not a heedless sentiment, but an "agape" love based on knowledge - the intellectual perception that has examined principles from the Word of God as illuminated by the Holy Spirit. Spiritual knowledge, gained from an understanding of divine revelation - God's Word, the Bible, enables the believer to love and obey what God commands."
So "agape" love - godly love is not an emotional or affectionate reaction, although true godly love may be accompanied by such emotional or affectionate 'philos' love so long as it is properly directed by 'agape', sacrificial, godly love on the basis of applied principles from the Word of God.
9) AGAPE LOVE IS PATIENT, KIND, DOES NOT ENVY, AND IS NOT PROUD - IT IS NOT RUDE, NOT SELF-SEEKING, NOT EASILY ANGERED, KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL, BUT REJOICES IN TRUTH, PROTECTS, TRUSTS, HOPES, PERSEVERES
a) [1 Cor 13:1-7]:
(v. 1) "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love [agapEn], I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
(v. 2) If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love [agapEn], I am nothing.
(v. 3) If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love [agapEn], I gain nothing.
(v. 4) Love [agapE] is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
(v. 5) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
(v. 6) Love [agapE] does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
(v. 7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Notice that all of these attributes of agape love are more mental discipline than emotional reaction. They involve selfless discipline focused outside of oneself as opposed to phileO love which adds key elements of self, emotion and feeling within the one doing the phileO love.
b) [1 Pet 3:10]:
"For, Whoever would love [agapan] life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."
To love life (agapan) as used in 1 Pet 3:10, is to cultivate true godly living involving discipline of self especially for the sake of others - a sacrificial love. Here the word phileO would be quite inappropriate.
On the other hand the man who loves (philOn) life receives rebuke from the Lord:
b) [Jn 12:25]:
"The man who loves [philOn] his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
10) AGAPE LOVE IS A FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT OF GOD
a) [Gal 5:22]:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, ["agape"] joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness..."
Godly "agape" love is a fruit of the Spirit of God - a product of the working of the Holy Spirit within the responsive and faithful believer and not a product of human viewpoint/emotion or the world. This kind of love, i.e., the fruit of the Spirit is always rendered with agape love verb forms.
11) UNACCEPTABLE AGAPE LOVE IS CENTERED ON THINGS OUTSIDE OF GOD AND IN PLACE OF GOD
a) [Lk 11:42-43]:
(v. 42) "Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love [agapEn] of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.
(v. 43) Woe to you Pharisees, because you love [agapate] the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces."
Instead of obeying God's law out of agape love/obedience, the Pharisees 'obeyed' it out of agape love to things which were to their own self-interest. In this case the misplaced agape love was to 'love [agapate] the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces' which had the effect of building up self-importance and neglecting the agape love of true obedience to God which glorifies God alone.
Notice that neglecting the love [agapEn] of God is neglecting what God has commanded relative to seeking the welfare of others instead of benefiting oneself. Hence the Pharisees not only loved [agapate] the most important seats but also loved [philousin] the most important seats, (Mt 23:5-7), neglecting the love [agapEn] and the love [philousin] of God.
12) THE AGAPE LOVE OF GOD FOR OTHERS
a) [Jn 11:5]:
"Jesus loved [egapa] Martha and her sister and Lazarus."
Note that Jesus not only loved [egapa] Martha and her sister and Lazarus but He loved [phileO] them as well:
b) [Jn 11:3]:
"So the sisters [Martha and Mary] sent word to Jesus, 'Lord, the one You love [phileis] is sick.' "
13) AGAPE LOVE OF ONE MAN FOR ANOTHER IS INCREASED BY THE LORD
a) [1 Thes 3:12]:
"May the Lord make your love [agapE] increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you."
14) HUSBANDS ARE TO HAVE AGAPE LOVE FOR THEIR WIVES AS THEY HAVE AGAPE LOVE FOR THEMSELVES
a) [Eph 5:28]:
"In this same way, husbands ought to love [agapan] their wives as their own bodies. He who loves [agapOn] his wife loves [agapa] himself."
Notice that husbands are commanded to agape love their wives as they agape love themselves.
15) BELIEVERS ARE COMMANDED TO AGAPE LOVE ONE ANOTHER
a) [1 Pet 2:17]:
"Show proper respect to everyone: Love [agapate] the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king."
16) A MENTAL COMMITTMENT TO OBEY GOD'S WORD IS PART OF AGAPE LOVE
a) [1 Jn 2:5]:
"But if anyone obeys His word, God's love [agapE] is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in Him"
A) INTRODUCTION
[The New Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon of the NT, Joseph Henry Thayer, Hendrickson, Peabosy, Ma, 1981, p. 653]:
"phileO ...to love; to be friendly to one... to delight, long for a thing, to be desrious of preserving one's life....
As to the distinction between agapan and philein: the former, by virtue of its connection with agamai properly denotes a love founded in admiration, veneration, esteem, like the Lat. diligere, to be kindly disposed to one, wish one well; but philein denotes an inclination prompted by sense and emotion....
Christ bids us agapate (not philein) tous echthrous (Mt 5:44), because love as an emotion cannot be commanded, but only love as a choice...
[Although certain passages do command one to phileO love, it is still a choice to follow this command. Emotions cannot truly be forced but must voluntarily come from the heart as a result of a deliberate effort to open ones heart in an unprejudiced manner]
As a further aid in judging of the difference between the two words compare the foll. pass.: Jn 11:3, 5, 36; 21:15-17 [even in some cases where they might appear to be used interchangeably (e.g. Jn 14:23; 17:27) the difference can still be traced]."
[Vine's Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, W. E. Vine, Fleming H. Revell, Old Tappan, N. J., p. 21]:
"PhileO is to be distinguished from agapaO in this, that phileO more nearly represents tender affection. The two words are used for the love of the Father for the Son, John 3:35 (No 1), and 5:20 (No 2); for the believer, 14:21 (No 1) and 16:27 (No 2); both of Christ's love for a certain disciple, 13:23 (No 1) and 20:2 (No 2). Yet the distinction between the two verbs remains, and they are never used indiscriminately in the same passage; if each is used with reference to the same objects, as just mentioned, each word retains its distinctive and essential character.
PhileO is never used in a command to men to love God; it is, however, used as a warning in 1 Cor 16:22; agapaO is used instead, e.g., Matt 22:37; Luke 10:27; Rom 8:28; 1 Cor 8:3; 1 Pet 1:8; 1 John 4:21. The distinction between the two verbs finds a conspicuous instance in the narrative of John 21:15-17. The context itself indicates that agapaO in the first two questions suggests the love that values and esteems (cp. Rev 12:11). It is an unself love, ready to serve. The use of phileO in Peter's answers and the Lord's third question, conveys the thought of cherishing the Object above all else, of manifesting an affection characterised by constancy, from the motive of the highest veneration.
Again, to love (phileO) life, from an undue desire to preserve it, forgetful of the real object of living, meets with the Lord's reproof, John 12:25. On the contrary, to love life (agapaO) as used in 1 Pet 3:10, is to cultivate the true interests of living. Here the word phileO would be quite inappropriate."
[Kenneth Wuest states, (Wuest's Word Studies, From the Greek New Testament, Vol 3, Eerdmans Publishing Co, Grand Rapids, Mi, 1992, #28, p. 62]:
" 'PHILEO' is a love which consists of the glow of the heart kindled by the perception of that in the object which affords us pleasure. It is the response of the human [soul] to what appeals to it as pleasurable... The word was used to speak of a friendly affection. It is a love called out of one in response to a feeling of pleasure or delight which one experiences from an apprehension of qualities in another that furnish such pleasure or delight. 'Agapao' on the other hand, speaks of a love which is awakened by a sense of value in the object loved, an apprehension of its preciousness. [Cp. Rev 22:15; Mt 6:5; 10:37; 23:6; Lk 20:46; Jn 11:3, 36; 16:27; 1 Cor 16:22]
B) PASSAGES TO CONSIDER
1) GOD REQUIRES THAT ONE PHILEO LOVE HIM FIRST AND FOREMOST ABOVE ALL TO BE WORTHY OF HIM OTHERWISE THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES
a) [Mt 10:37]:
"Anyone who loves [philOn] his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves [philOn] his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me"
Notice that there is no command in the NT for the believer to phileo love God. Nevertheless, 'anyone who 'philOn' loves his father or mother more than Him is not worthy of God.' Although philOn is a vlountary emotional response, it nevertheless is an essential one to have toward God above phileO love for all others in order to be worthy of God.
b) [1 Cor 16:22]:
"If anyone does not love [philei] the Lord--a curse be on him. Come, O Lord! "
2) GOD REBUKES AND DISCIPLINES THOSE HE PHILEO LOVES
a) [Rev 3:19]:
"Those whom I love [philO] I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent."
Note that God so loved [egapesen = agape] the world that He gave His one and only Son. But God loves [philO] His children, i.e., those who believed in the name of His Son, (Jn 1:12-3) and it is those whom he rebukes and disciplines.
3) MISPLACED PHILEO LOVE CAN LEAD TO THE LORD'S REPROOF AND EVEN CONDEMNATION TO HELL
a) [Jn 12:25]:
"The man who loves [philOn] his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
[Vine's Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, W. E. Vine, Fleming H. Revell, Old Tappan, N. J., p. 20]:
"To love (phileO) life, from an undue desire to preserve it, forgetful of the real object of living, meets with the Lord's reproof"
b) [Rev 22:14-15]:
(v. 14) "Blessed are those who wash their robes, they they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.
(v. 15) Outside are thee dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolators and everyone who loves [philOn] and practices falsehood."
c) [Mt 23:5-7]:
(v. 5) "Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long;
(v. 6) they love [philousin] the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues;
(v. 7) they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them 'Rabbi.' "
Notice that neglecting the love [agapEn] of God is neglecting what God has commanded relative to seeking the welfare of others instead of benefiting oneself, (Jn 14:15, 21). Hence the Pharisees not only loved [agapate] the most important seats but also loved [philousin] the most important seats, (Mt 23:5-7), neglecting the love [agapEn] and the love [philousin] of God.
4) GOD EXPRESSES PHILEO LOVE FOR THE SON
a) [Jn 5:20]:
"For the Father loves [philei] the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him even greater things than these."
5) GOD THE FATHER PHILEO LOVES THOSE DISCIPLES BECAUSE THAT HAVE PHILEO LOVED CHRIST
a) [Jn 16:16-17, 25-27]:
(v. 16) "In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me."
(v. 17) Some of his disciples said to one another, "What does he mean by saying, 'In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me,' and `Because I am going to the Father'?
(v. 25) "Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father.
(v. 26) In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf.
(v. 27) No, the Father Himself loves [philei] you [disciples] because you have loved [pephilEkate] Me and have believed that I came from God."
6) JESUS HAS A SPECIAL PHILEO LOVE FOR CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS
a) [Jn 20:2]:
'''So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved [ephilei], and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put Him!" '''
b) [Jn 11:3-5, 36]:
(v. 3) '''So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love [phileis] is sick."
(v. 4) When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."
(v. 5) Jesus loved [hgapa] Martha and her sister and Lazarus.'''
(v. 32) '''When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."
(v. 33) When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. (v. 34) "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.
(v. 35) Jesus wept.
(v. 36) Then the Jews said, "See how he loved [ephilei] him!" '''
8) BELIEVERS ARE TO AGAPE LOVE ONE ANOTHER WITHOUT HYPOCRISY, ABORRING EVIL, CLINGING TO THE GOOD AS WELL AS PHILEO LOVE ONE ANOTHER WARMLY AND AFFECTIONATELY
a) [Rom 12:9-10]:
(v. 9) "Let love [agape] be without hypocrisy. Abhorring the evil, clinging to the good.
(v. 10) With brotherly love [philadelphia] for one another warmly affectionate, in honor preferring one another, not lagging in diligence, glowing [boiling] in spirit serving the Lord."
Note that v. 10 is in participle verb form, and not in imperative mood, hence one is not commanded to phileO love another here.
Notice that agape love involves a deliberate effort to love without hypocrisy, abhor evil and cling to the good; and the phileO brotherly love involves warmth & affection. So there is apparently a distinction made here between agape and phileO love.
9) PHILEO LOVE REQUIRES TRAINING
a) [Titus 2:4]:
"Then they can train the younger women to love [philandrous] their husbands and [philoteknous] children"
Although phileO love is a voluntary emotional, affectionate type of response, one must train oneself and/or be trained to place oneself in an attitude such that that response is enabled. Hence the expression that one grows to phileO love another as opposed to immediately respond in agape love out of duty and self-sacrifice.
10) PHILEO LOVE IS COMMANDED OF BELIEVERS FOR ONE ANOTHER
a) [Heb 13:1]:
"Keep on loving each other as brothers [philadelphia]."
"philadelphia menetO" [pres., active, imperative, 3 pers, sing]
"brotherly love let remain"
11) GOD'S PHILEO LOVE AS WELL AS HIS AGAPE LOVE RESULTED IN HIS MERCY TO PROVIDE SALVATION FOR MANKIND THROUGH HIS SON JESUS CHRIST
a) [Titus 3:4-5]:
(v. 4) "But when the kindness and love [philanthrOpia] of God our Savior appeared,
(v. 5) He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy."
God saved mankind not only out of agape love, (Jn 3:16) but also out of phileO love.
b) [Compare Jn 3:16]:
""For God so loved [EgapEsen] the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."